The World’s Most Depressing Tech Infographic Says You’re Dead In 9 Years

Thanks Exec, for reminding us that we spend most of our days in a hamster wheel. The point of its new infographic was to show that life is too short to waste time doing errands, so you should hire an Exec on-demand assistant to do them for you. But it also might make you feel like giving up. Subtract all the eating, sleeping, working, and chores, and you’re practically dead already.

“9 years to spend with your family and friends. To play, laugh, and cry. To fall in love, to see the world, to pursue your passions.” I guess that does make laundry seem like something worth outsourcing. I’ve actually had some incredible experiences with Exec. The best was having them repark my car when I left it in a metered spot but had to go on an unexpected business trip.

The one thing the infographic leaves out, though, is that Exec only lets you have more than 9 years if you’re willing and able to pay. Along with TaskRabbit, Uber, Zaarly, and other “convenience tech” startups, they let you trade money for time. In that way, they might make income disparity for obvious. It’s one thing to not be able to afford a fancy car. It’s another thing for Exec to imply you only get to live if you can afford it.